I Had An Interesting Thursday Night.
So on thursday night, my roomates and i decided to get decidedly plastered, and succeeded admirably. so at 2:30 AM, two of us decided to take turns shooting fireworks at a third roomate who wanted to see how many he could dodge. We were shooting down at him from the house's fire escape. As an activity, this was pretty damned fun.
Until the 5-0 arrived. And charged up the fire escape unnannounced. my comrade saw the cop, and tried to grab the roman candle from me and hide it. that was when i became aware of the person running up the steps at me. without turning, but assuming it was another guy we live with, i whipped around and stuck my foot out. you know, the kind of thing you do to fuck with someone, but not actually make any contact. not like a real kick.
thats when i noticed it was a cop. and let me tell you, cops do NOT like percieved attempts to kick them down a flight of steps. at all.
he cuffed me and brought me down the steps to the concrete landing. he then informed the other guy at the top of the stairs that he would need to see his ID. my roomate went inside to get it. the second there weren't any witnesses, the motherfucker slammed me to the ground, for the sheer fuck of it. since i was cuffed, i absorbed the blow with my right temple and shoulder.
i was brought into the station for processing, where i was informed that i would recieve a noise violation, a drunk in public, and assault on an officer. thats where i became sober very damned quick. after some negotiation involving unnecesary violence on his part, and insisting i thought he was someone else, i got the assault charge dropped, thank god. then it was off to the drunk tank for the night. that wasnt terrible. the creepy part came the next day, when they started painting the jail, and used our cell to hold the convicts while their cells were getting done.
a couple of them were kinda friendly. most were douchebags of the highest order. there was one really awkward guy who was recently in jail for murdering his friend during an argument who decided to sit next to me and stare at me. for four hours, until my release. nonstop.
i learned that day that while prison food is indeed terrible, the cookies are absolutely sexcellent. it was kinda a ginger-oatmeal cookie combo, and they were great. in fact, they were so great that when the murderer sitting next to me asked if he could have my last one, i said "hell no" and offered him my saurkraut instead. normally, i would give up a cookie to a murderer. but those were not normal cookies.
release came at 2:30, almost 12 hours since id gotten in. i was released alongside another girl who was blazing hot, and also had a drunk in public. if i had been thinking straight, i would have tried to get her number, but i was too happy to be not in jail to really care. i regret it now, because there is something hilarious to me about meeting a girl in the county lockup. we walked to the magistrates office to get our last paperwork or whatever, and when i walked in i found my three roomates waiting for me. they started chanting "one of us! one of us!" (anybody who has seen the movie "Freaks" would understand the significance) which prompted me to let out a "braveheart" style "FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMM!."
according to the magistrate, it was the most interesting release she had seen in a while, as well as the most obnoxious. whatever, she was a bitch anyways.
my damned head is still sore.
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Originally Posted by pornbeard
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