Patapon
Now that I have your attention, I'm going to give you a first look review of the PSP game I just picked up this weekend called Patapon.
It's been a damn hell ass while since I last bought a PSP game, there just isn't much out there or the games are just too ambitious for such a crappy controller stuck to an LCD screen. I actually do use my PSP quite a bit, but it's hacked and plays PS1 games which kick ass and is really the only reason I bought it. Anyway, back to the subject at hand; Patapon i'm sure many of you are like WTF i've never even heard of this game.
Well shame on you, you disgrace the federation:
http://sg14silly.homestead.com/files/facepalmdeluxe.jpg
Anyway, to educate the helmet wearers out there, Patapon is a rythm based strategy side scroller. That's really the only way to a describe it. You play as the Mighty Patapon, the lord humungus of the Patapon race.
http://sg14silly.homestead.com/files/lord1a.jpg
And what does a mighty Patapon do? Well he plays the drums to motivate his troops. Actually, not just motivate but this is how you control your Patapons. Combinations of button presses timed to the beat of the background music moves your troops foward, makes them attack, and defend. This makes the game feel turned based at times because you'll notice that sometimes you need to defend right away, but you're in the middle of issuing an attack command. A true Mighty Patapon would continue issuing the command before begining the next one. Ending a command sequence early disorients your Patapons and causes them to cease what they're doing which puts them in a good position to get fucked by a charging dinosaur type thing.
http://www.siliconera.com/wordpress/wp- ... atapon.jpg
Fucking up the rythm of the command also causes them to drop trou and prepare for a rape scene of Pulp Fiction-esq proportions
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b272/ ... 2/GIMP.jpg
On the other hand producing phat beats of Public Enemy proportions results in your Patapons going into a fever sate, keeping this up is the best way of demolishing anything that stands in your path of toppling the Christian god and becoming the only real messiah. Alright that's not in the game but if my god's music was as sweet as the music in Patapon I'd buy the Christianity soundtrack and only listen to it on my computer because playing the soundtrack to this game in my car would make me look like more of a fag since I already drive a New Beetle. The music reminds me alot of Katamari Damacy where the music gets alot more layered and more textured as you progress and are doing well. Fucking up a beat can make you lose your fever and make you start your combo over again. Did I mention the combo system? Well there isn't much to say it just keeps track of how many times you've successfully registered a command. Register 10 and your Patapons go into the mentioned above fever state.
The game mixes things up by adding new commands, at first you can only attack and move foward. You later learn the defense sequence and Miracle mode which you need to beat certain levels. The game does it's best to keep itself fresh for such a simple concept. It should also be noted that you also manage things like the equipment your Patapons carry into battle and orginizing your troops formation. It's not that mindblowing or time consuming but it adds a degree of strategy that's just unheard of in a rythm based game.
So why don't you go buy Patapon already? The deal sealer is that the MSRP is $20, Yep $20 bitch even that cheap son of a bitch Matthew Lesko would say that's a good deal.
http://www.traveltalkradio.com/images/m ... sko_06.jpg
I guess it's also possible to not have a PSP, but if your friend has one you can steal that one. And if you're in prison BREAK OUT!
TL;DR: Patapon kicks ass go play it if you're straight!
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Originally Posted by Cheeto
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